it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
