Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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