We should be called the Road Head Warriors
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
