The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
