Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
