I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
