This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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