why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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