ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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