When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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