im drinking this country out of the recession.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
