Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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