I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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