I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
