So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
