Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
