I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
