Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
