Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
