I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you inspire me to be a worse person
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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