shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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