i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
