Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
