Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
