Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
