she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
