Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize