It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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