I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
