absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
