grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
