Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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