Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
