Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
