Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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