Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
