I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just googled if crying burns calories
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize