Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
