Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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