hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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