He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
