So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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