Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
