my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize