people are starting to question the shark bite story
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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