super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize