just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
