Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
