You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
