Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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