Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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