People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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