Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
only you would photoshop your dick
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
