I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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