Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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