What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
