he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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