thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
