just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
