have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
