i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
