I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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